AS E dey hot
1. When I was a kid, Pussy means Cat, Sex
means Gender, Dick was a name, And Bang
was
a sound, Whats happening to this
Generation?
2. You drank garri twice today, buy #100
recharge card and get 10mb, came on
Facebook
and wrote ''Money no be problem'
Ur case dey court
3. You dey owe mama ikenna #50 and and
you
dey wear ''My money grow like grass T-
shirt''
Wehdone sir!
4. You fit pay #5000 enter club but for
church na
#20 be your offering
God is watching you o
5. You're too big to dance in church but you
go
gaga crazy when you hear the (gbedu wey
dey
burst brain)
God dey watch you o
6. You're married but still chases other
ladies and
you claim you're going for refresher courses
Your cup go soon full
7. Just because you met him in a bus and he
bought you gala, you cum store his name as
''Bros gala''
Sista tank you o
8. You're an O'level holder but you sponsor
your
girl for university
My broda, you be scholarship board?
9. You dey inside hotel room snap picture
come
upload and write ''Home Sweet Home''
Your Mata Dey God's Hand
10. You enter public transport #600 to go
shoprite go snap picture with other
people's
goods,
Abeg wetin i wan tell you?''
11. Do you know that 90% of Girls Urinate
On
Their Body While Bathing ?
12. Dangote did not send 'I love you Jesus to
25
people before he get rich' please stop
disturbing
me or else I will curse ooo
13. NEPA is the Major cause of unwanted
Pregnancy in Nigeria
Everythng starts when she Enters the Room
to
Charge Her Phone
14. Salary 20k, Phone 400k, Weavon 30k.
And
you go to church to ask God for a Miracle,
When
you are already Performing magic
15. If You Were Ask To Collect N1,000.
From All Your EX How Much Will You Get
As For Me I Will Get N4000
16. I overheard a girl talking to her BF,
initially I
thought she was talking to God, because the
things she asked for only God can provide
them
17. When the devil fails to destroy you, it
sends
you a girlfriend from MBA_ISE
18. Plz Know your priorities and spend your
money wisely. Don't go and buy selfie stick
when
your armpit really needs a shaving stick.
19. Marriage is like jamb
You will be admiring UniBen & UNN buh last
last
end up in OmoPoly
20. Don't ever insult or challenge d woman
who
cook ur food bcos #20 can buy Rat Poison.
My hands no dy ooo
21. For Those Of You Who Went To Private
School And Are Intelligent, What Is The Past
Tense Of GOtv?
22. Some have bae but can not cheat .Some
can cheat but have no bae . I have bae and i
can la la la what do yu want 2 hear? Amebo
23. Guys plz if u are dating my future WIFE
plz
take it easy on her, don't make her shout
words
like harder, don't stop, ride on
24. Condoms are for weak ass men, real
men fuck
quickly & pull out before HIV notices.
25. Some chicks be like:"I can't cook my
mom
didn't teach me babe."
Now tell me,who taught you doggystyle
hehh??
26. Why do Ladies with Gap Teeth Always
Apologize Like.
"Baby I'm Thorry , It Vont Hapfen Again."?
27. It's only African parents dat will advice
you
for 6hours & still tell you "I don't have much beach bridesmaid dresses
to
say"..
28. After having sex with many guyz some
girls
we still call that area private part, for ur
information is not private but public.
29. I am done with breaking people's heart
Am now focusing on the spinal cord
30. It's only in Nigeria movies that you will
see
an angel with a tribal mark
31. After what Ramos did to salah, I now
understand why RAMS are killed during
SALAH
# UCL fans
32. True love is when you wear your
Girlfriend's
underwear to show Other girls that you are
already taken.
34. Some be dating an ugly girl & be lyk
anoda
man's food is anoda man's poison, my frnd
poison na poison ntin lyk anoda man food
35. She is nt good in bed
She is nt good in bed
Ma brother hv u try d table, chair or floor,
she
must b good SOMWIE.
36. Some Ladies On Facebook They Look
Like
Beyonce. In Real Life,they Look Like Mugabe.
37. Ladies 
Pls Try as Much as Possible to Look Like the
Person on ur Profile Pic.
This is the 10th Time my Cousin is Waisting
Transport
38. U came to kidnap me with a G-Wagon
and u
expect me to shout. Abeg shift make I
balance
well.
39. Cigarettes and weed are for small boys,
real
men smoke mosquito coil
40. If you're too happy in a relationship, just
know you're the Side Chic. Main Chics don't
usually have peace of mind.
41. I have never seen someone having heart
beat
than a guy who impregnate a soldier
daughter.
He'll start chewing water, end up drinking
rice
42. Guys, whatever you do in this life, don't
offend your village people
My neighbour won 500k from bet9ja and
his
girlfriend washed it with his trousers.
43. Child of God and you still have sex with
condom
Isn't God's protection enough for you?
44. This days, Davido's girlfriend trend more
than
some nigerian artist. When last you hear
from
TerryG?
45. This is Nigeria where girls borrow make-
up
and dress just to visit a guy who borrow
room
from his friend.
Too much Confusion and Transmissions
46. Since i was born and now i am getting
old,
I've never seen the wife of a president
pregnant.
Brothers and sister have you seen?
47. Some girls will plait their hair and their
forehead will be shining as if their brain is
using
solar energy.
Lemme mind my business sef.
48. Men are like BLUETOOTH CONNECTION.
When
you're beside them, they stay connected. But
when you're away they search for NEW
DEVICES.
49. How Chinese people choose their kids
name.
Very simple! Just throw their pot or pans
down
the stairs and listen to sound, ''Ding-Ping-
Wong-
Chung-Feng''.
50. Don't trust a girl who doesn't use her
father's name on social media. If she can
deny
her father, my brother who're you?
You wey go read this my post, you no go
comment,
My dear, you get leprosy for hand??